So You Want to

rent and drive a golf cart, here on Culebra. Great! No doubt the reasons are varied: less expensive, better gas milage, small, fun. I wish all the vehicles were golf carts. But, they aren't and they never will be, so here's a few rules for the road.

There isn't even a top number for the following, because it is so important and the violators are so wrong, I can't stress it enough. It's illegal, it's environmentally destructive and it's just wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. By the way? It's wrong. If I see it happening, I will call every enforcer of every law on Culebra and beyond and report it, with photos. That's a promise.

DO NOT DRIVE A VEHICLE ON THE BEACH. EVER!!!!

Ok, that's done. Now for the rest. 

1. You will never go faster than 15-20 mph. No worries, Culebra is very small and getting anywhere won't take you long. Especially if you are here on holiday, what's the hurry? However, you are driving along with people in vehicles that go faster and are a lot bigger. Common courtesy goes like this - pull over and let the bigger, faster vehicle pass you. BUT!!! don't pull over on a curve in the road; you might be simply polite but you are endangering the vehicle and its passengers passing and the oncoming vehicle and passengers no one can see around the corner. There! That wasn't so hard, was it.

2. I've seen little kids bouncing around the back seats of these things, no seat belts in sight. I've seen four people squashed into a seat made for two, with kids on their laps, a cooler and other beach paraphernalia crammed in as well. All it would take is one big vehicle behind you losing their brakes or their concentration and there is going to be a pretty ugly splat on the road. If you use these, get enough for everyone in your party to be safe.

3. Even though you are in a vehicle that is almost toy-like, it isn't a toy. Riding two or three abreast, weaving all over the road, having mini slow drag races (I've seen all of that, more than a few times) is dangerous and frankly, stupid. Obey traffic laws. Period.

4. While stopping on the top of a hill to take photographs is completely understandable (our views are awesome), stopping in the middle of the road is not. To whoever is coming up behind you, you aren't expected to be there. That's why you see us growling instead of smiling when we have to go around you.

And for the rest of us? The people NOT driving golf carts? Chill out. They are here and they are going to stay. Passing like a maniac is not going to help you really get anywhere more than about 30 seconds to a minute and a half faster. Yes, it can be really annoying, but why are you living here anyway? If you truly HAVE to be someplace exactly on time, leave earlier. Maybe a whole five minutes earlier. Really.

Personally, my opinion is that there are too many vehicles on Culebra. Too many rental cars. Too many big trucks driving WAY too fast and aggressively. Too many taxis that are too big, driving too fast and aggressively. But that too is most likely not going to change, except in the bad direction. So the best we can hope for is a little courtesy, a little respect, a little caution.

Have a safe Saturday. Do something smart slowly.