Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Five Miracles and a Rant or Vice Versa - Fair Warning

I wanted to post about the five miracles yesterday, but since I've sort of deemed Tuesday tiny home day and I happened to have a tiny home to show, from Culebra, I did that. The point being, today was going to be all about my great, wondrous trip to Fajardo on Monday. Not for a doctor, a first in a long time. Oh, it was for an official errand, the boat marbeta errand many of us must do every year. Errands are okay though, lots more fun than doctor visits (I adore my doctor though, bless his funny little heart). Normalo is good.

Let's just anchor our boat right in the ferry lane.

I usually wait for the boat registration people to come to Culebra (they come once a moth, if it's not raining or rolly waters or you aren't standing on one foot facing the dump correctly) but..oops. I was already late and they might or might not get here, depending on weather and chicken entrails. Plus, my pal Pan wasn't taking no for an answer. We were going. We were doing this. His boat, my boat, by the end of the day, we were going to be legal, upright citizens the vigilantes would smile upon, no matter the imagined or real obstacles before us.

So, I started counting miracles immediately. First one, we got there late - as in 6 am instead of say, 5:45 - and got a ferry dock parking place.  We had to run over a couple of people but it was cool. We got it. Miracle number one.

Thankfully, no one is in charge of sunrise
I can't help it, I have to start the rant now. Because it's so embarrassing to me as an American and as a human. I just found out about the Coca Cola ad - the America the Beautiful one where a few languages beside English are used in singing it. I didn't see it but if I had (I watched the video of it) I would have thought, very cool! This is what our country is about. I hate your products and your corporate philosophy in the world, Coca Cola but damn, you made a good advert!

Note: if the word that starts with F and rhymes with luck, puck and muck offends your sensibilities, first off, it's just a word, relax! But in the link above it is a centrally used word. As in #fuckcoke. Read it anyway. This is the level too many Americans live on. Go to a museum. Read a book. Aiyiyi. 

Apparently, a certain segment of our American society disagrees. Vehemently. How DARE anyone sing this song in another language?? they ask. And that's the nice version. Truthfully, I could not read anymore because I might have to jump on a plane and go slap some people upside their stupid heads. Really?? Yes. Really. I'm not really ready for prime time America. Thankfully, I'm old and don't have the financial wherewithal for a US tour, so I can't jump on planes to those idiots and verbally bitch slap them. But if I could? I certainly would.

Wait!! Come back! Speak up!!
Except. The comments. There is sanity in America, it just doesn't speak up loudly enough.

Ok, five miracles. And you know what? Reading what we considered miracles might be so mundane to anyone not living on islands. Maybe that is why a certain concentration of Americans are so ridiculous - because they don't get where the hell they come from. Here, when things go well - the smallest things - we are thankful. High five slapping, laugh out loud, call it a miracle grateful. Maybe some Americans on the mainland need to get a whiff of that.

Once you get to where the boat registration place is, it's pretty beautiful out there.
Next. Rent a vehicle. No reservation and we got one. We started to drive it away. The woman ran into the raod, we didn't fill out all the paper work. She was laughing. Sort of. It all worked out.

Where is the boat registration place? Just so you know? It's NOT  at the marina anymore. It's way the hell out in Rosie Roads now,  so don't take a taxi. Rent a car or bring your car. I promise you, it's cheaper. And ask directions six times because unless you understand what CB arrow means, you will be lost. I promise you that too.  Miracle, we found it.

Sure, how hard can it be? A lot harder than when it was IN Fajardo. Trust me.

See those twisty turny (sorry, I'm going technical here) roads? The ones with signs in code? Or no signs? It's an adventure. One thing for sure though, it's beautiful out there. After realizing we might be out there awhile we decided to appreciate what we were seeing. Like...a sign saying we were on the right path.
I'm trying to shorten the story, really! I'm skipping the two other official stops we had to make, where things went really well; efficiently and quickly. Miracle!! And the stop at the bank to get cash to pay the official stop places. Oh wait though. The bank story. There is this guy ahead of us and we get to talking while we are waiting. He seems...normal. Until he doesn't know how to put in his card. I assist him. Then he doesn't know how to find out his balance. I assist him. Now, Pan is involved because he is fluent in Spanish, and I'm hoping he can help. But the guy, who is Puerto Rican, doesn't really seem to speak Spanish. The line is getting longer. I could run away. Right then. But... Then he wants help with his withdrawal. The machine doesn't work. I mean really, the machine itself was not going to cooperate. I send him inside. We use the machine and it works perfectly. Easily. Miracle!

The boat guy was awesome. Even though my registration paper had MY name on the outside and someone's name I've never heard of on the inside (there isn't an envelope, what you get is what you better not lose). I hadn't noticed. We get these mailings every year...I see my name, I know how much it is, I don't even really open it until I'm in front of 'the guy' (note: the man and woman are so nice now! No worries, boat people, it's a breeze these days! - the mean guy is gone). He points out the problem and then casually goes into his computer and FIXES IT!!! Smiling the whole time.  MIRACLE!!! That's a biggie.

I'm still rattled by the  seriously offensive , idiotic comments of  stupid Americans. I think that is three miracles and I'm trying to think of the other two. I should have done this yesterday.

Now I can't remember the exact nature of all the miracles. Maybe a couple of them were when we were shopping for other things needed and they were there (it was not the security guy, who literally followed me all through Econo, trying to help me and find something I was looking for - to the point of dragging me out of line after I gave up looking because he found it. Weird. Pan admitted later that he had a flash of Was she shoplifting????? before coming to his senses).

Maybe it was when we got back. All I know for sure is that we both agreed it was a 5 miracle day.  And that life is precious and good and that all we have are moments, every single one of them to be celebrated. Bad things happen and must be acknowledged and lived out, lived through, but while that living is being done, the precious moments must be searched for, and noticed, or why go on at all?

Why do I let idiots invade my 5 miracle day? Because the home lobotomy kit hasn't arrived in the mail yet. I'm thinking that having to wait for 45 years might get me a refund. Press 1 for English. Press whatever you like for a bigger world, because I promise, the English language might be popularly used, but the speakers who speak it and come from America? Not so popular. Of course, if you don't travel outside your borders, that isn't so apparent. Maybe there should be a 'see the world, or at least Mexico and Canada at least once in your narrow life' campaign.

Or, we could just talk cat. She is the most sane creature in my world. Sorry, the rest of you, but she wins the Sanity award. Oh. You already knew that. Okay.
Have a more wordless Wednesday. Do something wide.


  1. Congrats on the Marbetta! I still like "Tiny home Tuesday" though! Did I mention that?

    1. You DID mention that! I made a note and everything.

  2. Great rant! Totally agree, and by the way you're not old. You're younger than me and I'm not old. Old is someone 10 years older than you.

    1. Good definition of old, but 10 years older is the age of a lot of my friends and THEY are not old! ;) The other day a guy said, oh, 60? I would have thought you were 50. I was struck dumb...50? That's OLD!

  3. “Be grateful you’re not in the forest in France, Where the average young person just hasn’t a chance, To escape from the perilous pants eating plants, But your pants are safe, you’re a fortunate guy, You ought to be shouting how lucky am I”

    From "Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? " by Dr.Seuss

    1. I do!! and often. And lucky for Dr. Seuss too!