Friday, July 30, 2010


Sean left us late this morning after a swift and unexpected severe infection. He had his son and brothers and Nancy with him. Everything I want to say just comes out in a burble of I'll use this instead, for now. More coherence soon, but for the moment, thank you W.H. Auden, and thanks to Mike Hurley for finding it first.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

So much of this, losing Sean to death, expresses how I, and I think many of us who loved him, feel. But unlike Mr. Auden, I can say that much will come to good, and that is part of having Sean in my world. He'd be seriously, oh so very seriously, pissed off if we who loved him went  with that last line of thought. Maybe a bit of Tennyson works in here.

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark; 

I can't stop my sadness but it will ebb...and if anything comes from knowing Sean, his passion for life and love rises to the top like sweet cream, to be used accordingly. More anon.


  1. I knew your next posting was going to bring tears to my eyes. You know that I didn't know Sean very well, but I know how very special he is to you, and I am feeling your pain and heartbreak. Hugs and Kisses.


  2. Thanks...I'm far from alone in feeling this empty space in the world, but yes, it tilts my cosmos. I enjoyed meeting your parents the other day at the store, sounds like they are on a fun adventure!

    Thanks, Debbie

  3. Like Debbie, I only knew Sean from your inspired stories. I'm sorry for your and Culebra's loss.

  4. MJ
    my sympathies on the loss of your friend.
    I recently lost a good friend too and I know how sad and painful it is.

  5. I am not sure what happened to my comment. It seems to have disappeared. If this becomes a double comment, I am sorry.
    I wanted to say how sorry I am that you lost your friend.
    I recently lost a good friend too and I know how painful it is.
    In fact, you met my friend. Remember the 2 women who bought some hot sauce from you for me?
    It was one of them. The one with blond hair.
    Thank God we have wonderful memories of these wonderful people who went too soon.

  6. If, by my stories, you got to know Sean a little bit, then I'm really very glad I learned to type.

  7. Barbara, it showed up one way but not the usual way, sorry I didn't see it until this morning...

    Yes, I remember her! A lot of laughing with her. Glad I got that memory too. Hugs.