Talkin' Trash

Talkin' Trash - pt. 1

Ever once in awhile something happens unexpectedly in life that brings one to a halt. I had one of those moments today when I opened the following email. I know, I know, blowing my own horn isn't very seemly, but when an honor such as this comes along, how can I not share it with those who know me through this blog, as well as those who I live around - and who have to live around me? I only hope I can keep on being the simple, gentle, soft spoken and unassuming woman I was only a mere 20 minutes ago. August 25! I KNEW something was going on!!! I know I told someone that, someone dear to me who understands my unique qualities...I can't quite remember who but I know that happened.

Dear Candidate

You were recently appointed as a biographical candidate to represent your industry in the Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals, and for inclusion into the upcoming 2009-2010 "Honors Edition" of the registry. We are pleased to inform you that on August the 25th, your candidacy was approved. Your confirmation for inclusion will be effective within five business days, pending our receipt of your application. The Office of the Managing Director appoints individuals based on a candidate's current position, and usually with information obtained from researched executive and professional listings. The director thinks you may make an interesting biographical subject, as individual achievement is what Who's Who is all about. Upon final confirmation you will be listed among thousands of accomplished individuals in the Who's Who Registry. There is no cost to be included. We do require additional information to complete the selection process and kindly ask that you access this form on our website by Clicking Here

Sincerely,

Bill Fields
Managing Director
Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals

It's ok if you had to go get a tissue, I'm still a little misty myself! Who knew that from my humble cart beginnings on the mean sidewalks of Dry Prong, Louisiana to By The Bridge, Culebra, I'd come to be recognized this way. I'm staggered to contemplate the future, which could go who KNOWS how far, now that I am in this select high strata of professionals (think Mall of America!! think St. Barts! just think!). It boggles the mind. Oh, the excitement there will be in Winnie's eyes when I open a BUSINESS account! When I order new cards (forget those free pieces of crap, I'm goin' raised lettering!) and add my new information on them, you will be the first to get one! Really! Sigh. What a day. Just earlier in the week I was scraping barnacles and mowing my yard, today, well...I'm elite and I plan to start living like it! Just so y'all know.

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This is one of those scams where you sign up, hoping to *network* and by the way, get your name in the *richly colored leather book*, and suddenly, your bank account via the credit card number you supply is emptied bit by bit, month after month. Just say no! If you and your business are really that exceptional, I wouldn't think you need your name in a leather book to prove it.

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Talkin' Trash - pt. 2 *

Labor Day weekend...ah the images it conjures here in the Caribbean! Cook outs, friends and family, swimming and boating on beautiful islands in perfectly indescribable waters; all the images we are so richly blessed with. Here on Culebra, we get a lot of visitors from the big island of Puerto Rico. They come over in their big boats with their big coolers full of food and beverage, anxious to be outside, frolicking and merrymaking, rafting up along the docks or out at Dakity.

And that is where the generalities shall end. Because I know - since I know some of these people and they are not in the target zone - that not ALL boaters (and land visitors, yep) can be such hideous, thoughtless, shameless SLOBS, leaving the island - the island they say they love so much - looking like a trash dump.

Trash in the streets, trash in the water, trash on the trails, trash on the beaches, trash in every nook and cranny possible to put trash in. Trash in people's yards, trash on fences, trash all over the ferry dock, trash thrown into pick up trucks!!!! Do you somehow think if you just drop it or throw it anywhere like an animal, no one sees this? We see it, trust me. Oh and let me just add, parents, when you show this example to your children of stuffing trash places it doesn't belong, they follow your actions and that I must say, is pretty awful to watch.

So we spend the next days picking up your trash. Wet, smelly, disgusting. Your six pack plastic bottle or can rings, your plastic glasses, your plastic bags, your half full beer bottles, your revolting baby diapers. Your trash that you leave spread around our island as you happily head homeward. Where do you live?? I'd love to return the favor sometime, in your yards, on your streets, in your living rooms.

These were taken at the Gulf station.

There could be LOTS more pictures of trash but these three (taken by Susie of Susie's Restaurant) get the point across. Some boater(s) too damned lazy to get their trash to a dumpster just decided to use the gas station as their dumping ground. So of course animals get into it and guess what, you thoughtless lowlifes? Someone has to pick it up now. Not you, of course. Thanks.

Please...the next time you come to Culebra, pick up after yourselves! If a trash can is full, find another one! This place isn't that big, and walking is something good for you. Crazy idea, walking to find a trash can, I know, but give it a try, I know there are plenty to find. If you can't find one, ask any storekeeper or restaurant person, heck, ask any local! We'll be delighted to help you find a place for your trash, and I mean that. Otherwise, why don't you just play in your own yard and trash it up? We don't need it here.

Because the truth is, if you are determined to be trashy, you are probably those people who want to sit in restaurants and eat your own food while drinking your own beers; you're those people who turn your boat music up loud enough to pierce eardrums; you're the people who raft up boats so no one can get past you in the canal, yeah YOU. No one here on Culebra will be hurt if next holiday, you stay home. Really.

The rest of you? C'mon back soon, ya hear?

*there will be a Spanish translation of this section available soon. If you're interested, let me know!